sometimes instead of a horrid little monk, divine visions of lesbians dance in my head dispensing wisdom
[Image ID: Twelve-panel pen and ink comic. In the first panel, a hairy dyke sweats and blushes in embarrassment as they lift weights at the gym while bystanders glare at them in disgust.
In the second panel, the dyke stands alone wearing a towel, about to enter the bathroom.
In the third panel, they raise a razor to their very hairy leg. A speech bubble interrupts them. It reads: “Just what do you think you’re doing?”
In the forth panel, the dyke gasps and looks over their shoulder in surprise. Their ass is out.
In the fifth panel, the dyke exclaims: “Who… who are you?!” to the five saintly apparitions hovering above them, crowned with halos and garbed in masculine styles from various time periods.
In the sixth panel, the first apparition speaks: “We are the Butches of Ages Past. We appear to you now in your hour of need.”
In the seventh panel, the second apparition says: “We saw that you were about to succumb to societal pressure to shave your legs.”
In the eighth panel, the hairy dyke looks down shamefully at their razor and whines, “People keep staring at me like I’m a walking infection…”
In the ninth panel, all five apparitions shout “DEAL WITH IT!” in unison.
In the tenth panel, the third apparition says: “You wear your stigma with pride and don’t flinch or look back. That’s the way it is done, friend.”
In the eleventh panel, the first apparition places her hand upon the dyke’s shoulder and asks: “If you don’t dyke this place up, who will?” The dyke adopts a determined expression and exclaims: “You’re right!”
In the twelve and final panel, the dyke is back at the gym, lifting a large weight and smirking in smug and wicked pleasure at the alarmed expressions of other patrons. Their legs are still very hairy. Above them a video game-like marker floats in the air and reads: “Mission: DYKE THIS PLACE UP!!!!!”]
when a british actor does an american accent everyone’s like “i didn’t even know they were british until they were on colbert.” but when americans do a british accent everyone’s like “they’re supposed to be from east cocksford but their glottal e’s are north dicksford. shameful.”
Saw an interesting interview with Hugh Laurie talking about this (on playing House and ‘getting away with’ doing an American accent):
“…. because they’re much less interested…they don’t have that 'Professor Higgins’ ear for…. class and background and geography and the way the British are much more attuned to wait a second where are you from and what trick are you trying to pull on me by… with that particular choice of words. I think partly again because it’s such a big country nobody really…. it doesn’t bother people so much where you’re from or why you sound the way you sound. America’s a country that’s too big to know itself. Someone living in Florida’s go no idea how people behave or what they eat or how they dress in Oregon, it’s just so far away - whereas we know, of course, we know absolutely everything about… every British drama we watch, we’re like, well that’s High Wycombe, that could never happen because it’s a one way system there! whereas America’s so mythically grand, it’s too big to know it'self, and that actually has an affect with things like accent. ”
I’d like to formally thank the people of the UK and Ireland today for their rhyming prowess and forcing the Royal Mint to turn off replies to this tweet in RECORD time lmfao
And last but not least, the pièce de resistance that inspired about 90% of the hidden replies:
2nd July 2023
Reblogged From spones-in-my-bones
Notes: 38889
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